Something strange happened this weekend. As a writer I experienced the weirdest encounter with a publishing group made up of other writers. It all started with a request to connect on LinkedIn. The conversations that followed were what took me aback. It’s been two days now since my last contact with the group, yet I am still mad about what happened and I still think about it.
Maybe I shouldn’t be that mad, I tell myself. Maybe I should be more professional about the whole thing, even though they themselves were not. But I sure would like to blog about it. Except I am too worried to put anything down that will look or sound like a personal rant.
Let me ask you: Have you ever been misunderstood in your life more than once?
Well I have, more often than I have been understood. I am not and never have been an introvert. The fact that I am shy would not cross anybody’s mind. Most of the times I am accused of being arrogant and excessively self-confident, of being indifferent to other’s feelings.
Because of that, because I didn’t have the nerve and the guts to tell people how I felt about them, I lost them. Over the years I lost many friends with whom I would have loved to stay acquainted. Others stayed in my life, not because I changed, but because they tried not to judge me and cared enough to stick around and get to know me. For that I am forever grateful. To quote Paulo Coelho:
“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.”
Now, a quarter of a century later, I don’t think I have overcome my shyness. I still carry the fear of being misunderstood. Sometimes when I am in a situation and I feel the urge to speak my mind, I still choose to keep my mouth shut. In the vein of “l’esprit d’escalier”, I later regret having said nothing. I still have a long way to go.
But this time, I have a really strong urge to share my bizarre experience with you. Tomorrow, then?