If I Don’t Start Now

Every day for the past few years, I keep reminding myself that if I don’t start now then I won’t have a chance ever again to do the things I love most.

I read somewhere that ‘your first life belongs to nature and your second life belongs to you.’

Now I don’t really remember in what context the author had used those terms, but I sure want to believe that first and second lives are both happening here in this world while I am still alive.

Like everyone else in this world I have had dreams of spending my days reading and writing. A dream that started in my childhood, the very first moment I held a book in my hand and read the story myself. But then as I grew up nature took over my life, if I’m to quote the author. Like everyone else I sought love and success. I wanted to achieve, get a proper education, find a nice job and succeed in it, and fall in love and have a family. I did all that was required of me to do. I must admit I was happy doing all that.

But as the years went by, as my kids became independent young adults and their demands for my personal assistance, whether physical or psychological, became fewer, I became more restless myself. I realized that throughout all those years I gave away a lot of personal rights for my status as a mother and wife and a teacher. I thought I had to. I gave away the right to use my time in any way I saw fit, the right to say yes to my personal preferences. I put the needs of my family and my loved ones above all else.

But now that I have more time on my hands, I have started the process of gradually taking those personal rights back. I have come to realize that it’s now or never. That a waste of time is a waste of talent and happiness. So why waste time?

To seek my original self. A self I haven’t seen since childhood, with one plus though. I now have the know how and the independence I didn’t have as a child. I wish to recover the dream I had as a child and try to live it.

The thought alone makes me look forward to getting up every morning because it’s the life I love. I feel excitement already about what I’m going to create. But if I don’t start now…


This entry was posted in Ramblings and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to If I Don’t Start Now

  1. The sooner the better! Begin the journey to find your inner childhood dreams, now! 🙂

    • chichikir says:

      There’s this writing project that I have in mind but I am too lazy to start. I know I should but. Thanks for your encouragement Susan it means a lot to me 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s