“Endings come in two basic shapes- circular and linear- that which rises to a point of climax, and that which returns home to tell the tale.” Ansen Dibell
Every person has a story to tell. As every person’s life itself is a story from beginning to end. We all start our lives with pretty much the same goal of living decently, of getting an education, of working, of falling in love, of finding someone to share our life with, of having a family, and building a place we can call home.
But what is home? Or rather, where is home?
I personally have moved several times in my lifetime. I have not only changed houses and cities but also countries and even continents. And each time together with my husband I have tried to establish a new place for us, a new norm according to the rules and regulations of the new country. But home for me is not only where I live. “Home” to me has become a state of mind. The way things are going to be for us from here on, different than what we were used to. But with the same meaning, and the same emotional dynamic of my previous places, of my homes even if the addresses are different.
In some ways like the ending of a circular story, “coming home” to me means returning to a state, a mood, or a situation that is somehow related to the story’s beginning.
So home for me is not only a place, but also the people that I come in contact with on a daily basis in my life, be it my grocer, my baker, my pharmacist, my doctor, my neighbor. And every time I move this connection is lost. But somehow eventually I manage to form new connections, and just like some stories where beginning and end connect, my life also twists back to connect in considerable ways with the old norm, with what was once my beginning. And just like any story my present kind of becomes a difference of before and after, then and now. My before and my present become similar but not quite identical, the contrast sometimes bitter and at other times sweet. And as Ansen Dibell wrote:
“They also come in three major flavors- happy, unhappy and a mix.”
But unlike in any story where you can choose your ending, you cannot always choose in life. Sometimes life throws challenges in your face that are much bigger and much tougher than any decision you have ever made or any situation you can ever handle. Sometimes the choice does not even lie in your hands. And you are pushed to a climax where there is nothing left for you to do but to stop there and then. And that’s where it all ends. That’s where the connection between start and finish breaks.
My life has not always been happy, nor has it always been unhappy. I have had my fair share of both happiness and misery. I have had my share of ups and downs. And as long as I continue to have a mix of both I can think of my life as a circle where ends connect.