The year 2012 ended in darkness for me, and all I wish for in the New Year 2013 is some faith, hope, and why not a little bit of happiness, if that is not too much to ask or to wish for.
Hope- expectation, optimism, anticipation, faith.
Or in the words of Emily Dickinson:
“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
Strange how hope changes us as people. It changes what we do and how we look at things, at people and the world around us. Even though we all know that once something passes it is gone for good, like yesterdays and yesteryears. We don’t know what tomorrow holds for us, all we are left with is today, and yet we still work for and dream about tomorrow. We work in anticipation of a better tomorrow. We constantly strive for a better future and in the process we let our today pass sometimes even without noticing. Our present is nothing but a quest for tomorrow. We go to bed dreaming about the day after. We hope against hope that when we wake up the next day we will have a better day than the one we had, than the one that passed. In the words of Aristotle:
“Hope is a waking dream.”
We believe that something is going to change for us, for better or for worse we can’t tell, as long as it changes. None of us knows what might happen next and yet we still go forward.
Because we hope, because we trust, and because we have faith.
“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Heb: 11:1)
Faith- confidence, trust, reliance, assurance, conviction, belief, loyalty, dedication.
I have never seen any stronger example of faith and hope than when I accompanied my husband to the oncology (cancer) ward for his chemos. All those faces young and old sitting on their chairs taking in their medication day after day, time after time. Dedicated, believing and hoping. I admired their courage, their optimism. Even though for some this hope only lasted from one CT scan or MRI to the next, or from one doctor’s appointment to the other. In the words of Lemony Snicket:
“Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.”
With each passing day I saw less and less of those familiar faces and I dared not think or wonder if the rest ever noticed. As to what each and every one was thinking, I never dared go there. None of them knew what was waiting for them. I often asked myself how can they go on living and hoping when all the doors seem to eventually close in on them?
Alexandre Dumas wrote:
“There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. All human wisdom is contained in these two words, Wait and Hope.”
Why do I feel such an emptiness then? Is it because of my late husband’s confidence, his courage, his faith, his optimism? Is it because even during his last hours in his hospital bed he promised us he was coming home and I believed him? Is it because:
“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.” Robert Fulghum