Safe And Sound


“God was there anything more solid, more right, than knowing your child was where she ought to be? Safe and sound.” Jodi Picoult

To me as a parent safe and sound would be in their rooms under my roof. To me the best part of the night would be when I retire to bed knowing that both my kids are home in their rooms. There were times though that I would complain to my late husband that my son was spending too much time playing on the internet. His answer would always be, “Where would you rather have him? Outside or here in his room?”

Parenting is perhaps the hardest job on earth (I would say). Specially with the advance of technology and the internet, children nowadays are not safe even in their own rooms. How do we keep them safe from all the harms of social media? How do we prevent them from falling victim to bullying on Facebook or twitter, or texting? How do we supervise them and their actions, knowing very well that for any child belonging and being loved and accepted by peers and friends means more than words from and the love of parents.

Caution1

How do you go on supporting them knowing deep in your heart that they were in the wrong? Praying and hoping all the time that they won’t get hurt. How do you keep them from harm’s way even if they are in their rooms? In the words of Jodi Picoult:

“You signed no contract to become a parent, but the responsibilities were written in invisible ink. There was a point when you had to support your child, even if no one else would. It was your job to rebuild the bridge, even if your child was the one who burned it in the first place.”

So how do you prevent them from making bad decisions? How do you tell your children that the choices they are making or the people they are associating with are perhaps not the best for them, without alienating them from your life? We have all been there. At some point in my lifetime I have done the wrong things and followed my friends, knowing that what I was doing was wrong. Because I didn’t want to stand out, I wanted to belong.

As parents we can’t wait for our children to grow up. As parents we also have choices to make. And when we find ourselves at any crossroads in life, we are sometimes destined to take the wrong turn. Since we also are not experienced to be parents. Even if we are, sometimes what we do with one child might not work with the other. So how would we know? What do we do before it becomes too late. Because as Jodi Picoult said:

“Hell wasn’t watching the people you love get hurt; it was coming in during the second act, when it was already too late to stop it from happening.”

ChK

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3 Responses to Safe And Sound

  1. words4jp says:

    i have asked myself this question many times. sometimes it is a paralyzing thought. yesterday i found out that a 15 year old girl at my kid’s high school committed suicide over the weekend. the same age as my youngest son and she attends their Temple. she was a best friend of one ther step sister’s. i have not been able to get her out of my mind. the boys were with their dad yesterday and last night so i was unable to talk to them or hold them. i find myself just hoping and praying that they make wise choices and if they stumble, I will be there to help ease the pain. it’s either that or grab them lock them in a room and keep them safe forever.

  2. It is very tough being a parent. We hope, as they grow, we have taught them well and given them the morals to do what’s right when a situation arises. We hope that we will have the wisdom to let them make their own mistakes because they will learn better by doing than listening to us tell them why such-and-such is wrong. We have to be supportive but not a crutch they rely on whenever things go awry. We need to talk, so they will listen and respond by talking things out without anger. That’s the really hard part! 🙂

  3. raimo2 says:

    Perhaps the hardest part of being a parent is knowing when to let go. Support, care, love that asks for nothing in return, yes, all these, and more, are necessary, but letting go when the time comes – ah, how difficult it can be when your child is permanently set in a time warp, when you view your child as a happy little toddler, whatever their chronological age. It’s funny at times. When I set out for my wedding day (in my mid-forties), my mother asked me if I had a clean handkerchief. Does it sound familiar?

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