If you are in any way following my blog or have stumbled upon my latest post you are aware of the fact that I recently decided instead of wasting my time and going back to teaching full time, I would sit at my desk in my room and write. In other words I would try and become a full time writer. It seemed the best thing to do then. But now that two days have passed I am kind of having second thoughts. The first and main reason is how am I going to make a living out of full time writing? Even though in the words of Jules Renard:
“Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.”
Yet I have bills to pay and so far I haven’t been able to make any money from my writing. Now my book The Lost I was first published and printed in Dubai in April 2004 in accordance with the rules and regulations set by the Ministry of Education. And as such the publisher didn’t have the right to distribute the book outside of United Arab Emirates.
In 2006 when we moved to Canada I very much wanted to publish the book here in North America. So when I was approached by Raider Publishing International, I signed a contract with them. It was the worst experience of my writing life. Even after my contract is over with them, the paperback version of my book is still being sold, illegally. And of late the internet is full of testimonies of authors just like me suffering from breached contracts and broken promises by Adam Salviani, owner of Raider/Purehaven publishing. Some have youtube videos reciting their experience with Raider while another group of angry authors have launched a class action suit against the owner.
The funny thing is that at first I was upset with Raider but now I don’t even care. All that is behind me now and all I want to do is write and hope that maybe I can have better luck this time with another publisher. Because in the words of John Fowles:
“There are many reasons why novelists write – but they all have one thing in common: a need to create an alternative world.”
To me writing is a need from deep within. It is the only thing that calms me down and boy how I need to be calmed down at this time and phase of my life. I need to create a different and better world where I could be happy again. And that is why for the time being I have to:
“Forget all the rules. Forget about being published. Write for yourself and celebrate writing.” Melinda Haynes
I need to get back on my feet, as I desperately need to regain my faith in humanity and the world around me. And right now only writing can bring that back to me. In the words of Stephen King:
“Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy.”
I know I can never be happy like I used to before. I will always carry the pain of losing him deep in my heart as I will forever miss him. But all I want is just to get up, get well, and get over. All I want is to simply to write!