I Wish For A Miracle

Are you in any way like me? Do you believe that somehow someday your life will change for the better? Well I am not sure if I still do. I would like to believe that someday something will happen and I will feel better. I would like to hope so. But right now the prospect of a tomorrow without my love in this world scares me. Right now to use Samuel Beckett’s words:

“Have you not done tormenting me with your accursed time! It’s abominable! When! When! One day, is that not enough for you, one day he went dumb, one day I went blind, one day we’ll go deaf, one day we were born, one day we shall die, the same day, the same second, is that not enough for you? They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams an instant, then it’s night once more.”

I have always been a firm believer. In the sense that I have always believed that life is good. Yes life is good and it is only people, some people, who make it miserable for us. I have always believed that hard work pays in the end. And I have always tried and failed and tried again. As Samuel Beckett wrote:

“All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” 

Oh how I wish to see the light of the day once more. Right now how I wish for a miracle in my life just to get me going. And when I think that it wasn’t even a year ago that I was wishing for a fairy for quite a different reason I get goosebumps. Here’s what I wrote then:

Are you in any way like me? Do you check your blog often after posting to see if any other blogger has liked your post? Do you get excited when you read a comment, because you know that someone has really taken the time to read your post and shared his or her personal thoughts with you?

I personally love that part of blogging. Once I post an article I can’t wait to get back to my blog and check my page and my statistics. Without others’ encouragement it is hard to go on sometimes. Many are the times when I despair and it becomes so difficult to continue. I plan to quit. I do so for a day or two but then the love of writing gets the better of me and I write and write.

I remember when my kids were small and they had so called CAT exams in school at the end of each term. They were too young to understand the meaning as well as the importance of those exams. I tried to explain it to them but after a while I decided that the best way to go about it is by rewarding them. They had been visited by the tooth fairy before so why not be visited by the exam fairy during exam weeks? So every time they finished an exam and did well, the exam fairy would visit them. She brought them colored pencils, pens, pads, diaries, and sometimes even cash. The ‘exam fairy’ became our ‘thing’ until they were a little older. Maybe some educationists will disagree with my method but hey, it worked.


We all need to be rewarded. We all need to be appreciated somehow. No matter how rationally we seem to look at things we are nothing but human. And as such we have feelings and emotions that sometimes need to be nurtured. And as Albert Schweitzer writes:

“Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.”

Dale Carnegie told the following story:

Half a century ago, another boy in London was working as a clerk in a dry-goods store. He had to get up at five o’clock, sweep out the store, and slave for fourteen hours a day. It was sheer drudgery and he despised it. After two years, he could stand it no longer, so he got up one morning and, without waiting for breakfast, tramped fifteen miles to talk to his mother, who was working as a housekeeper.
He was frantic. He pleaded with her. He wept. He swore he would kill himself if he had to remain in the shop any longer. Then he wrote a long, pathetic letter to his old school master, declaring that he was heartbroken, that he no longer wanted to live. His old schoolmaster gave him a little praise and assured him that he really was very intelligent and fitted for finer things and offered him a job as a teacher.
The praise changed the future of that boy and made a lasting impression on the history of English literature. For that boy has since written seventy-seven books and made over a million dollars with his pen. You’ve probably heard of him. His name is H.G. Wells.

May your days be filled with miracles and fairies. Happy writing everyone!


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5 Responses to I Wish For A Miracle

  1. fazelisays says:

    Nice. You write with an optimism that has somewhat spurned me to be more and achieve more. Thanks for that.

  2. Zvart Babikian says:

    Choghig, this is zvart Babikian your facebook friend. I will confess that everytime you put a post, I always read it the same day. You have been in my thoughts always.I do not know why? But as you have written to me one time that we have similar thing that have happened in our lives. The feelings the you do write from youe life, i feel those as you are feeling, and iit amazes me that gift that you have to be able to put it in words. This amazes me because I am not able to do that.So, whenever i read your blogs, i feel relieved that i am in a way like you. This is the answer to the question that you have asked in your post. You are asking that do you believe that smehow someday your life will change for the better. I do not think so, because looking back into my life that i had lived with my husband Vatche i have lot of good memories, that we lived together, having children raising them together, doing everything together, that is what i miss the most.

    I never felt the loneliness that i do feel now, when i am in the crowd of family and friends.

    I think, now that you and I have a son and a daughter, we need to get out source of love from them, and they are waiting to get that love from you and I.

    Choghig, i like to talk with you and the phone or skype, whichever one you prefer.

    My story, is we were family of four, my husband died Feb 7, 2011 on our 30th wedding aniversary.
    My son went to study to Colombia Unisersity in New York, Manhaten.
    My daughter got married and moved to Toronto Canada.
    I moved out from my house, because it was too big for me to live in.
    So i am left with my mom of 85 years old in Sierra Madre, California.

    So i had lots of changes to deal with and get used to it, or better said to accept it

    In California, there is a paster Greg Laurie, he is a very popular preacher, and has a good name in the community a very faithful servent of the Lord. He lost his son of 33 years old by a car accident, he keept his faith, and always shares about his son and the struggles that he went through in his pain. Go to google and listen about sermons about dealing with yor pain in losing a loved one.

    Please listen and if you want to keep in touch with me 626 355 5142 and my e.mail address is zvartb@gmail.com.

    I feel every word that you write, because i am on the same road with you.

    Love you
    Facebook friend Zvart


    • chichikir says:

      Sorry Zvart I have been late to answer. I keep reading your note and my heart goes out for you. You have been through a lot of losses as you say. I on the other hand have my kids with me and that I consider a blessing. The thing that bothers me most is that we had just moved to Canada with new hopes and expectations and all that can go wrong went wrong and in such a short time. On most days I sit and read. I am not good in talking that is why I write maybe. I will email you soon I promise.

  3. I for one believe A Miracle is something only God Can do. There are lovely things, and perhaps with our imagination we can call on fairies to do this. These things make us smile, but I believe there is a God who makes us smile again, wipes away our tears, and gives us the warmth of love from other people. A huge loss leaves a large hole in one’s heart. It would take a miracle to fill it, but you can’t ever totally fill it again. So the heart must live and beat without total fulfillment. I shall pray for this for people who have these huge losses to the heart. I shall prayer for love for them.

    • chichikir says:

      Thanks Anna. I try to think and believe tomorrow is going to be better than today but how I honestly don’t know. I’ll always feel the loss and carry the pain no matter where I am. I just pray that with time it will get easier to bear.

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