Today is the 16th of the month. Eighteen months ago we said goodbye to you. You left this world filling our lives with an emptiness so great that nothing and no one can fill it. You left us in too much pain that is as strong today as the day it happened. Not a day has passed that we haven’t missed you or loved you.
For us every day since then has been a real struggle. I guess it will never ever be the same again. No matter what we do, no matter how busy we are, at the end of the day it all comes back. I personally am not angry anymore, at least not as much as I used to be anyway. I still wonder though about what the hell happened that day. How quickly things went from bad to worse for you and within hours you were gone.
The unlucky number 16. Or maybe not. Because on May 16 exactly thirty five years ago, we went on our first date. We met on campus of the American University. You were holding an exhibition for your artwork at Jafet Memorial library Hall. It was your first exhibition after graduation. You took me inside the hall and gave me a VIP tour. I felt so proud and lost for words.
A month later you had another exhibition, this time in Makhoul street, Hamra. All the newspapers found you and wrote about you as having a great and exceptional talent as an artist. You were only twenty four.
You were such a force of nature, so full of joy and hope and optimism, and you loved life so much. I am so grateful for all those years I spent with you. I am thankful for your patience, your devotion, and especially for your friendship and your love. You were the first person to believe totally in me, in my writing and my dreams. Because of you I believed in me and my dreams too. Together we had our dreams.
I am so sorry your life was cut short. I am so sorry you left without realizing your dreams. I so long to hear your voice one more time. I so long to hear you call my name once more, just once. But I know that’s never going to happen and it hurts. Yet I have to somehow gather the courage to continue what we started thirty five years ago today.
The unlucky-lucky number 16.