My Heart Aches

This week we are saddened by the death of Robin Williams. A great loss for all of us and specially his family. My heart and prayers go out to them. It is so hard to lose a loved one. The pain is so strong and with the passing of each day you realize you will never see him again, nor hear his voice. The line separating life and death is so thin and once a loved one crosses it the agony that follows is as if you’re being stabbed in the heart time and time again.

Then you become aware of how vulnerable we each are. How important family is. How important it is to be loved and have people around you who support you. Even on days when you want to be left alone but they won’t let you, because they care too much about you. You realize how lucky and blessed you are to have them in your life.

There was a time in my life when I was so busy working that I hardly had time to relax and enjoy what I already had, and so was my husband. It was only after he was taken from us that I understood how mistaken we were about everything.

The world we live in has become so materialistic and competitive, that most of us have lost our true self. Thrice in my lifetime I have changed cities and countries and even continents. Each time I have left behind many possessions and belongings with so much regret. Because I had to. 

Thinking back I ask myself, did I really need all that? My heart aches when I think of how hard it was for me, for us to work and acquire all that and then leave it behind and go through the same thing yet again, this time in another city, in another country.

My heart aches to see people killed and displaced. Homes destroyed beyond repair. My heart aches to witness children, teenagers, and innocent people lose their lives for reasons beyond my comprehension. My heart aches to see militias doing the unimaginable to women and young girls in the name of God or Allah. My heart aches to hear of children being abused and assaulted by people they trust most. There is no God who supports abuse, killing, rape and other atrocities. 

How can we live in this madness and be part of this world and not despair? 

Rest in peace Robin Williams. You will always be remembered for the laughter you brought in our lives regardless of your own pain.



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