Julia Cameron writes:
“Creativity occurs in the moment, and in the moment we are timeless.”
Time! If only I have time! There’s so much I can do! See I have all these ideas in my head; I have all these characters, plots, scenes and stories. If only I had time to put them down on paper!
Just when I thought I had all the time I needed to realize my childhood dream and write, I find myself spending the time on my computer checking the news or my friends’ status or the latest celebrity gossip. And the moment I tell myself that’s enough, I have to start writing and put my laptop to sleep, I am on my cell phone checking my apps, whether it’s the weather or my horoscope or my dream or even my heart rate.
It’s getting worse, this time thing. Every night I go to bed promising myself that come next day I won’t look at my phone nor my laptop, only to find myself glued to these machines. Maybe, just maybe, I don’t write today because I won’t have time to continue tomorrow. It has so happened to me before that when I write something, a week or two go by before I have time to continue. By which time I have to start over.
I don’t write because I am not in the mood or, more precisely, I am not ready. Whatever idea is simmering in my head isn’t ready to come out on the page. And so sitting at the desk and looking at a blank page or the computer screen would be a total waste of time. Even though I believe Julia Cameron when she says:
“Being in the mood to write, like being in the mood to make love, is a luxury that isn’t necessary in a long-term relationship. Just as the first caress can lead to a change of heart, the first sentence, however tentative and awkward, can lead to a desire to go just a little further.”
It’s just that first word or first sentence or the first step. Sometimes I think, what if I write and it won’t be good enough? Moreover, what if I am scared that my time has passed and I already missed the bus and that it is too late for me to actually sit and write?
“But do you know how old I will be by the time I learn to really play the piano / act / paint / write a decent play? “Yes . . . the same age you will be if you don’t.” Julia Cameron