My productivity has been in a bit of a slump lately. The usual ‘family’ and ‘things to do’ stuff. Mainly there’s just too much else to pay attention to.
I have to confess that roughly every week for the past two years I have been planning to sit and write. Almost every Sunday night I go to bed promising myself that I will start writing on a regular basis every day only to find myself cleaning and arranging my desk or my library or reading a book the next day.
According to Julia Cameron the reason we don’t create is not because we are lazy, but because we are afraid. The fear of the outcome keeps us in a blocked state. Come to think of it, it’s true. Just when I sit at my desk with an idea in mind, I can’t help but start having doubts about it before even putting it on paper.
I ask myself: Is it a good idea? Will anyone like it? Will I be able to pull it off? Once I start writing will I be able to finish it? Or will I just abandon it due to other complications in my personal life? With my doubts I sort of create a spider web for myself and cling to it.
But in my heart of hearts I know that what I am doing is wrong. I know that if I don’t start now chances are I will never start. Who said my writing has to be 100% perfect? Isn’t being 95% perfect good enough?
Maybe I should start writing short articles and short books instead of long ones as a start. Or maybe instead of setting big goals for myself I will have to make do with short ones. Short goals are more easy to achieve than long ones anyway. Perhaps I should stop agonizing over every comma and stop being critical of my writing while writing.
Or maybe, just maybe, I should totally forget about what my mind tells me and follow my heart and allow myself to get carried away by my imagination and my emotions.
“Emotions are the key. Focus on everyday events, explore them. Search your own heart for the emotions these events evoke. Capture these memories with the five senses, and express them vividly in your character’s lives.” Laurie Moeller (aka Laura Anthony)