“I believe in not quite knowing. A writer needs to be doubtful, questioning. I write out of curiosity and bewilderment. …I’ve learned a lot I could not have learned if I were not a writer.” William Trevor
I too have learned a lot about myself by being a writer. About my true inner self.
Some days, most days lately, I sit down to write a story and my mind is blank. Not entirely blank though. I have a vague idea of what I want to say. I have no plot, no real characters, but still a strong urge to write. So the first thing, the only thing I do, is write the title My Story and then stare some more at my page.
Slowly the story starts to take shape in my mind, in my imagination. I know what to write next but I’m still not sure about what the beginning should be or how to start my story. I close my eyes and the first thing I want to do is shut the voices in my mind. The voices that try to boss around and control my imagination. Once I have silenced the noise and emptied the clutter in my mind I try to focus on my breathing and my heartbeats.
I try to listen to that little voice coming from my inner core. And that voice tells me to cease to be myself and become this vague character that I want to write about. Bit by bit that vagueness disappears and all this character starts to take shape. And slowly all my emotions, all my fears, all my anger and disappointments, all my dreams, all my passion and desire become his. And suddenly the character is not vague anymore.
Quickly I open my eyes and start scribbling and that’s when the magic starts. In no time the letters start to take shape and the character is materialized, and I have a clear idea of what to write. My soul is free and my imagination is soaring and once again I am genuinely truly excited about writing.
Virginia Woolf wrote:
“I will not be “famous,” “great.” I will go on adventuring, changing, opening my mind and my eyes, refusing to be stamped and stereotyped. The thing is to free one’s self: to let it find its dimensions, not be impeded.”