Allen Saunders wrote:
“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
As most of you might know by now, I am a morning person. I wake up early in the morning to have some quiet time alone with myself. I make my coffee, get my notebook from my desk and go and sit in the corner which I claim to be my own corner of the sitting room. I do this after opening the curtain so I can look at the trees outside my window and watch the sun come up.
There was a time when I used to be a night owl, and I don’t remember exactly when I turned into a morning person. Could be when my kids were much younger and I was teaching full time and taking care of my family and home. I wanted to have some time to myself just to clear my head of the everyday clutter and that was sort of impossible to do at night, since by then I would be too exhausted and sleepy. At some point I decided to wake up earlier than anyone else to have that half an hour that I desperately needed. Yes half an hour, not more, just some quiet time with myself and my thoughts.
And now after so many years I still wake up early in the morning to have that conversation that I so cherish. I do it by writing down the events of the previous day, things that happened to me, things that upset and bothered me the most, and still do. I move my hand from left to right on the page and let my subconscious take control.
I write about my worries, I write about my concerns, and my fears. I question my existence. I question my purpose in life. I go over past events remembering how dreadful some have been and how painful they still are. Sometimes I travel further down memory lane and think about the loved ones I have lost and how I miss them terribly.
I do not try to find any meaning since there is no meaning. I do not try to understand since I can’t no matter how hard I try. I simply pour my heart out on the page.
And before I know it the Sun is up and shining outside. And I realize that no matter what happened to me, to us, the Sun will always rise and life will always go on. And that I should not cry. As Dr. Seuss wrote:
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”