It’s Father’s Day

Today is Father’s Day. And for me and my kids it’s not a day like any other. It is one of those days that we just have to get through. Today is a day just for keeping on.

In his answer to a grieving person, some old man wrote the following:

“As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage, and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph, or the smell of coffee. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while. All you can do is float. Stay alive. Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall, or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somewhere you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.”

We have come out. We have survived the wreckage, but the pain and heartbreak are there just like the day it happened. And with all that’s been going on in my life this past year I find myself one more time standing on a slope.

Wanting to move ahead but sometimes being held back by unexpected u-turns, I become attached to my past. I miss my old days with him, and I miss him terribly. And on days like today I have to stay faithful. 

Both my late father and my late husband were believers in their own way. Both believed in me more than I did. Faced with their faith I used to find mine. I lost them both within one year of each other. 

Now I must look for the silver lining. And at night when for some reason sleep won’t come I must consciously count my blessings. 

Tom Hanks once said:

“As long as you as an individual… can convince yourself that in order to move forward as best as you can, you have to be optimistic, you can be described as ‘one of the faithful,’ one of those people who can say, ‘Well, look, something is going to happen! Let’s just keep trying. Let’s not give up.’”

I like to believe you are both in heaven watching over us. Happy Father’s Day to you both and to all fathers who are in this world and those who have departed.



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